A conversation
about choice
Discussion questions for I Don’t Remember Choosing This by Don Sanjeewa Alwis.
These original companion questions follow the book’s three parts. They are prompts for discussion, not quotations, chapter summaries or an assessment. Invite people to use an imagined example and to pass on any question.
See the Frame
Notice what your work, relationships, and attention are teaching you to value.
Which reward or unwritten rule shapes a situation you recognize?
How would you distinguish what the setting encourages from what you personally value?
What does a Frame Audit reveal that effort alone might miss?
Catch the Default
Recognize the response that arrives before you have time to choose.
Which response arrives before you have checked whether you want to choose it?
When has a helpful identity narrowed the roles available to you?
What neglected interest or preference would you like to make room for?
Make the Move
Pause, test another option, and build a small system you can shape.
Where could a pause change the next conversation?
Which would be most useful to change: your role, setting, time horizon or measure?
What small experiment could you try, and what would count as learning?
A suggested 45-minute conversation
Spend five minutes choosing a situation, twenty-five discussing one question from each part, ten identifying a possible experiment, and five reflecting on what remains unclear. You can print this page with your browser.
Read the working definitions, try the Frame Audit or begin with the opening excerpt.